Hopeless

Im done ! Dont look at me all that way cause it means a lot. It means a chance! while I know you wouldn't give me any just like others in the past." Says the brain. The heart notices but it works by sympathy, it keeps hoping therefor it wouldnt give up before trying. Whereas, the heart has known itself so fragile.
How stupid.

•••

I cant surely declare what kind of feeling that seems to tease me these days. Meeting new people could bring you such a bliss or either a grief for sure. But it depends, actually. Unfortunately, the misfortune has already locked in me.

The worst thing about meeting new people accidently in a short time and without any obvious reason- you like them, is you'll never get to see them again moreover get along with them. So whats the point? One that kills cause it happens steadily or continually as a cycle. It never works between me and those people. Oh god why couldnt we?
Ive been suffering with this solitude. It sometime makes me think that my being has no meaning at all, i am the one that being dumped among them and i am no longer (or even worst never been) required in their perfect criterias kinda world. You may call this is such an insecurity. yes, I am feeling insecure. And ive sunk insanely deep and dark.

Then please remind me; both admiration and love, those are temporary madness. That would definitely dissapear as soon as raindrops in the middle of summer time. so I would rather choose to be an apathetic in this case to heal, to fix and reattach the broken pieces. To protect, to not get hurt for hundred of times.
I only need to convince myself not to worry too much.
People always come and go, even when you dont want them to, and you have tried tooth and nail, put so much effort beyond your capability. In the end you must accept such a bitter fact maybe they only cross your path, not distined to stay.
You shall let them go, so new ones could replace.
Everything will work as it should be. If it meant to be together, than it will be. If its not then dont you dare dreaming.

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