Sky Wall

I know it would be a little bit self-destructive if I do so. If I'd revisit the moment every time I'll be reminded and play it on repeat in my mind. Since it almost feels like facing two different things at the same time. The feeling of warmth which goes beyond words but also kind of a terrifying vision if I need to loosen my grip on something I love so dearly.  I wish I could embrace it forever, yet the more I want it the more I see it walking away.  I wish I could express better and convince so it might stay, yet words could loose their meanings too when feelings prevail. Then I realize every time I decided to peek on what the future may hold, moments have a huge power to hurt. So let it be the moment that I should just live, in the moment. A moment when letting go feels like a big, big, tight hug. 

*) Favored Piece Flight of Angels, Two Holding a Large Feather , Taddeo Zuccaro , c. 1556 - c. 1558 Pen & brown ink on brown paper with brown wash, heightened with white, h 347mm × w 245mm Starting with my favored piece, even though this is not Baroque I’m going to talk about.  It goes so much in harmony when brown ink is carved on brown paper, naturally and wholly fused to the point that I thought this was a digital art print/design, splendid. This elaborate sheet itself was a design for a spandrel. As a mannerist artist, Zuccaro seemed to really show the characteristics of mannerism in his work by highlighting many sculptural forms with clarity of contrasting lines.  Figura Serpentinata  or technique intended to make figures look more dynamic, is as well used as we can see when they are pictured in spiral pose(s). The fact that it’s appeared in mono-colour doesn’t make his work less compelling since it goes along with subtle and hazy contours of...

I never had a chance to be on the scent of Van Gogh until I got to attend an art class in the fourth year back in college. I won’t let myself throw such a shallow judgment on whether the work of art is good or bad, I can never be able to determine either. But we do have preferences, and mine will always be under the shadow of a connection built. When I see Van Gogh’s paintings, I feel irresistibly drawn to them.  Another thing in regards to him that caught my attention is the way he ended his life; by doing suicidal. Some said that's because of his mental instability that leads to depression, yet we never really know. At first, I had been wondering why a great artist like him could do such thing whereas doing art is about expressing your inner-self, spirit, feelings, and emotions - helping a person to let them all out.  #BetweenSolitudeAndLoneliness Nevertheless, he was known as a quiet, thoughtful and imaginative person. He contributed to the foundation of modern...

Let me have my last day on earth in an art museum, I wanna die peacefully and be surrounded by people who share the same spirit, embody the same energy. A constant unending process of creativity which has no number emerging, and I always am grateful to have witnessed with my own eyes the things that most people won’t specifically see. I feel back to myself, I feel no fear. I can embrace my most individuality.  Quoted what Léon Spilliaert had said,  “To me, the only thing that counts is my individuality; it is everything to me; I am not so certain that all the other thin gs actually exist. It is like a phantasmagoria when I view the life that goes on outside myself it is often with abundant fantasy.”  This is probably the first thing that caught my attention. My brainwork went far to how's individuality mean so much to Spilliaert and how it later affects me to embrace mine either. When I initially entered the room, I didn't know who is Spilliaert, ...

These few days I have stumbled upon the fact that free time could actually give me a lot of personal spaces in order to re-think and make me become fully concerning about what is needed to be done as a part of what we may call: ' self-care '. As I have read couple of good books, I just started realizing more that amongst of those important things in life, what matters most is the healthy being of the heart, mind and soul.  Nowadays, it is inevitable that people have the tendency to measure the insides against someone else's outside, the thing which obstructs the process of receiving self-contentment. While we are virtually knowing those two things probably bear no resemblance, we keep on comparing ourselves to another. Sadly saying, we may fail to run and manifest the self-care or we may stay unhealthy.  However, I also just found out the psychological concept by Carl Rogers known as the Fully Functioning Person (the FFP). According to Rogers, a fully functioning p...

Bicara itu penting supaya kita mengingat lagi, karena kadang suka lupa. Contoh lupa tentang semua harap dan perjuangan yang mengikuti.  Lupa kalau ternyata sudah berjalan sejauh ini, jadi jangan nyerah karena tinggal sedikit lagi.  Bicara itu penting, supaya kita balik sadar apa yang selama ini diyakini.  Kadang suka lupa, tapi ketika bicara ingat lagi kalau setelah bermenit-menit ngeluh, berjam-jam risau, berhari-hari tidak sabar, berbulan-bulan tertatih, kita kurang ucap syukur dan kurang mencintai proses. Berbicara layaknya bercerita itu penting, bukan semata-mata supaya orang lain tau perjalanan kita, tapi buat jadi pengingat diri sendiri ternyata Tuhan sebaik itu ya, walaupun kita selalu nuntut tapi nggak pernah mau diajak sedikit lebih sabar. Dengan bercerita, kita mendengar lagi apa yang kita percaya. Walaupun bukan melulu yang bahagia tapi juga yang susah dan sedih. Dengan bercerita kita dengar lagi apa yang kita doakan, atau dengar lagi suara h...

Saya selalu percaya bahwa dunia ini terdiri dari dua komponen yang tidak bisa dipisahkan, sejak keduanya merupakan satu kesatuan yang ada dan tercipta serta saling melengkapi dalam sebuah lingkup ruang dan waktu yang dinamakan kehidupan. Komponen tersebut ialah pikiran dan perasaan. Di dunia pun, kita mengakui adanya keterberpihakan akan suatu hal yang membuat kita cenderung memiliki preferensi dalam arti menyukai maupun memilih yang satu lebih daripada yang lain, contohnya memilih perasaan daripada logika atau sebaliknya. Preferensi yang terlalu diyakini kadang menyebabkan kita hidup di dalam satu warna absolut, di mana hal lain yang tadinya kurang menjadi prioritas berubah menjadi sesuatu yang tidak diyakini lagi secara mutlak atau dikenal dengan ketiadaan. Seseorang akan meyakini hal yang satu benar kemudian hal yang lain salah. Secara pribadi saya pun meyakini sesuatu namun sedikit berbeda. Saya selalu memilih untuk berdiri di garis perbatasan, berkaca pada hasil pemikiran Hag...

I just read a very beautiful line that I consider as quote of the day. Let  my  heart be broken by the things that break  the  heart  of God. -Robert Pierce Baca quote itu pertama kali di booklet kecil yang dibawa mama pulang. Booklet- nya dibuat sama salah satu NGO ( Non-Governmental Organization ) yang fokus membantu anak-anak mewujudkan harapan untuk kehidupan yang lebih baik di daerah tertinggal layaknya Papua dan Kalimantan. Dulu pas SMA sempet punya mimpi buat kerja di perusahaan non-profit yang bergerak di bidang sosial kayak gini, tapi seiring berjalannya waktu dan saban hari berkecimpung di dunia kuliah, mimpinya sebenarnya suka berubah-ubah. Mulai dari yang sederhana sampe mimpi punya settled job yang bisa bikin kaya raya. Pas tadi abis baca booklet- nya, rasanya kayak diingetin dream job pas SMA sampe pada akhirnya memutuskan untuk nulis post ini. Rasanya kayak tamparan, kadang dalam hidup sadar atau ngga sadar, kita lebih berpihak sama hal-ha...

I need some space. We need space, a solitude between what we admit as our deep love So we would appreciate more time together And would recognize the feeling of missing also learning to be patient ones And having one by one day forward as another step closer Then at the end we could save the two blaze of undying souls

To whom I should be angry with, the society or the people? Its still hard to believe we live in a world filled by mankind which are having different characters. Seeing the true color of someone can sometimes break your heart. As time goes by I try to make myself understand by willing to be such person who is easy to accept everything in all conditions. What I've been questioning is, whether its God who create mankind quite diverse or the people who make themselves become more complicated? What's wrong with the world nowadays, some people are so dissapointing while I always try my best to be the opposite I did good things to them, but they only remember the bad ones Never had any intention to hurt their feelings while they broke my heart easily I dont mean to be ungrateful or expecting to get such an equal feedback for the kindness I have done and shared to them. But its just really hurting to feel like everybody is faking himself. And dealing with those people, is hell ti...

My good friend has ever said, we will always have this thing called a triangle of life which consists of three aspects of life; those are social life, good grades, and enough sleep. Funny at first, I was thinking its easy to do all at once in amount of 24 hours per day. But the fact says you can only have two, because a triangle will not look as it should be if it stands on three sides simultaneously. And thats true. If you choose social life and good grades, you'll be deadly struggling day and night yet will not feel guilty later on about your scores and the relation among people. But you'll definitely living your life in unhealthy condition just lyk a zombie. If you choose good grades and enough sleep, you'll be regarded as a loser, an anti-social, no friends means no helping hands when you once needed. And if you choose enough sleep and social life, you'll definitely not get any achievements that is concerned on how easy you'll get a job and drive your car...

Hidup ini kelewat keras Atau manusia (termasuk saya) Yang terlalu banyak menuntut (Harusnya) definisi bahagia itu sederhana Ya itu, Bahagia = sederhana Ora neko2. Ga nuntut macem2. Jalani aja apa yang di depan Titik. "Bila engkau ingin satu, maka jangan ambil dua. Karena satu menggenapkan, tapi dua melenyapkan." -Mencari Herman [2004] , filosofi kopi, dee lestari

So you think they want to be like that? Being Imprisoned by something which stucks on their bodies for ages The thing which has been granted to them but couldn't be refused or ignored Live most of their lifes being mocked and judged, by those people who don't have such a conscience by those who always seem to build a big great wall as if they are wasted? They fucking won't But what might they do If they have such a strength I believe they could have just thrown it all away from themselves They are so weak, helpless Unable to change anything They have to bear the burden no matter what The thing is, they are still our friends God's made just like us Nobody is entirely perfect They need love as much as we do Day by day people walk by But if you consider yourself as high educated person then stop throwing shits to them Like have you ever felt the feeling of being in their position? have you ever? have you? take time and brood over we were all...

I don't know why lately I often think, talk and take some conclusions based on my observation about what human emotion is really like. Or lets say it, I just started exploring about how self-centris/ egocentrism of human being works. Probably because some of my friends told me about their experiences of feelings and emotions, also some problems they are facing with nowadays. And I've been trying to be a good listener and giving such worth and best advices to them so they might feel better. Well sometimes, I feel like I'm able or fit to be a psychologist, lol.        The thing is, Aristotle said, each person is a "Zoon Politicon", means that mankind is a social being, who can't live alone without the others and need help from the others. That's true. Like, have you ever imagined  living in this world just alone and how would it be? I can definitely describe that in one word. Worst.        But have ...

Changing the main purpose of doing something ain't that easy When there are only two options that follow ; Keep going with the new purpose that would probably won't give such a benefit (to me) but might give any to him. Or.. Decide to stop and ignoring the dignity and my good name Needless to say, just choose; Yes or no? I've been doing wrong since the beginning. I know. Especially when you have been through half process to reach the goal. And now, everything has changed into something that you least expect. Too far from desire. Too far from all that have been wanted before. The question is : Why am I  doing this kind of shit? Sorry. But I'm trapped now. Judge me self-absorbed or whatever you want. Because I know I'm wrong. And I still want to go out without leaving a trace and get the best. Oh please, I don't even care about him.

I was checking one of my best friend's timeline when I found out one of her tweets sounded like this, "Why would people cry over the same thing over and over again? while we only laugh over the same thing in a few times." I thought about it for about few minutes then something came out and crossed my mind. The reason is because grief carves wound and left scars, it's more difficult being forgotten by someone than a pleasure which is only left good memories. Agree? Or its also because happiness/pleasure can be expressed through variety of ways. With smiling, laughing, loving, sharing, singing, even running, joking, and so much more. You can surely do everything   when you are pleased. But when sadness comes along to you it would be so hard to do things. I think the best way you can possibly do is crying . That's why people would go crying continuously over the same thing because they just can't figure out what else to do in a grief.

Have you ever thought about who's gonna be your future husband? I thought about it, some couple of times. And I know you did it too, we did. It becomes one of the biggest mysteries in life. That question can't be answered if you have not experienced it yet, I mean find your future husband, right? Well, who's gonna be my life companion? How does he look like? Who is he? Where is he? What is he doing right now? Is he my close friend or my old friend? Is he a stranger whom I gave a smile someplace? Is he one of thousands people whom I met in the mall yesterday? Is he an artist or a singer? Is he a son of a richest man in the world or in Indonesia? Is he one of the zillion men in the Maroon5' concert ? Is he my neighbor? Is he my senior at high school? Or is he my boyfriend now? Or I would not marry 'till I die? It's about destiny. Nobody knows All that we can do is waiting...

One day I was thinking about some little things and here it goes... These are life's simple pleasures around us that have a possibility about being everyday sources of joy and happiness but commonly overlooked These are what I call 'great little things' Small things in our daily lives can mean so much if we want to watch them carefully Simple things in places, time, and events that we will miss, once we don't find them like usual Little things that would make our lives seem complete, fuller, more satisfying and become a bit perfectly wonderful It's about bread seller in the morning who always succeed to wake up everyone instead of alarm ring. They make sound like," sari rotiii...rotii..sari roti" It's about the smell of dew and sunlight through the window, warms the surface of skin when we open the curtain It's about hearing beautiful sound of birds singing and chirping above the trees out far from the window It's about brushing ha...