Dear God, today is my birth day and I guess you already knew
And even without I'm telling You, You won't forget it either.
Probably, the opening will be sounded very ungrateful.
May I tell You that I feel dissapointed,
may I?
I dont have such eagerness to be remembered by so many unknown and random people like an actress, or being admired like a model, or the other famous figures. But sincerely, I just wanna be remembered by the loved ones, by those whom I love and those who confess that they love me the same.
I put myself in a very honest situation. I was hoping they would say those greetings and wishes, was hoping they were here together blending in my happy day, but the fact hit me a bit hard since some of them so irresponsive. Can't even deny, the selfish part of myself is trying to compare what I've done for them and seeking to justify myself that is a natural thing perceived by human being. Whereas the truth means I am neglecting Your words which said that love is all about giving and giving and not expecting anything in return. But this feeling seems to haunt and frighten me so how could I choose and explicate it? God help me. How could I shrug off this feeling? When the sense of dissapointment is beating the sense of gratitude. Its so dissapointing I wont lie I wanna cry. Do you test me so I may learn to be patient and tolerant one like it's a part of Your perfect way?
Life seems unfair sometimes and the people - even the closest ones and those who used to be - are slightly dissapointing. So that I write, for an intention to express this kind of anxiety, sorrow and desolation beneath every layer of my skin and inside the deepest section of a desiring soul. So that I tell You whats truth, for You would not just always listen but understand and give solutions in Your right timing. For I know You would always guide and stay beside me through troubled times and the good ones too.
And always in the end this heart will be sided to Thee, build upon my awareness that all things are always right in Your way. As of me who are a sinner would ignoring all the depressed feelings for simply thank You and utter my utmost gratitude to Thy presence. I, which will eventually fight against the flesh and selfishness and say I love them no matter what.
Thankyou for every meeting and separation
Thankyou for those who came and already gone in my life
What strengthen me is now I know when they walk away, truthfully my fate is never be bound to anyone who goes left. I wouldnt loathe them, or throwing ruction to those who had ever made me laugh back then. Since they ain't wicked, it is just their parts which placed in my life are completed and finished. All I need is receiving it wholesouledly and wholeheartedly forever.
Thankyou For those who hate and for those who love me
For those who betray and for those who stay
For those who have broken my heart and for those who heal
For those who bring happiness also those who bring sadness
For those who caused dissapointment and for those who strengthen
For those who dropped me down and for those who bring me into prayers and keep me in supports.
For those who kept the promises and those who meant to break their promises
Thank You for music and melodies in my life
Thank You for the closed and opened door
Thank You for every good chance, whether it has brought me to good or bad luck
Thank You for each & every beautiful thing
I remember every struggle and effort that has been made through Your helping hands in 1st and 2nd semester, You always happened to keep Your promises.
My life is adequate because I could see more days coming in Your plans which are tremendously wonderful and unbeatable, for that I wouldnt ask for more, You have given me more than I could ever wished for and its an eternal grateful. I am 19, I am blessed, hearty Thank You.
- Greetings, 18 July 2015
And even without I'm telling You, You won't forget it either.
Probably, the opening will be sounded very ungrateful.
May I tell You that I feel dissapointed,
may I?
I dont have such eagerness to be remembered by so many unknown and random people like an actress, or being admired like a model, or the other famous figures. But sincerely, I just wanna be remembered by the loved ones, by those whom I love and those who confess that they love me the same.
I put myself in a very honest situation. I was hoping they would say those greetings and wishes, was hoping they were here together blending in my happy day, but the fact hit me a bit hard since some of them so irresponsive. Can't even deny, the selfish part of myself is trying to compare what I've done for them and seeking to justify myself that is a natural thing perceived by human being. Whereas the truth means I am neglecting Your words which said that love is all about giving and giving and not expecting anything in return. But this feeling seems to haunt and frighten me so how could I choose and explicate it? God help me. How could I shrug off this feeling? When the sense of dissapointment is beating the sense of gratitude. Its so dissapointing I wont lie I wanna cry. Do you test me so I may learn to be patient and tolerant one like it's a part of Your perfect way?
Life seems unfair sometimes and the people - even the closest ones and those who used to be - are slightly dissapointing. So that I write, for an intention to express this kind of anxiety, sorrow and desolation beneath every layer of my skin and inside the deepest section of a desiring soul. So that I tell You whats truth, for You would not just always listen but understand and give solutions in Your right timing. For I know You would always guide and stay beside me through troubled times and the good ones too.
And always in the end this heart will be sided to Thee, build upon my awareness that all things are always right in Your way. As of me who are a sinner would ignoring all the depressed feelings for simply thank You and utter my utmost gratitude to Thy presence. I, which will eventually fight against the flesh and selfishness and say I love them no matter what.
Thankyou for every meeting and separation
Thankyou for those who came and already gone in my life
What strengthen me is now I know when they walk away, truthfully my fate is never be bound to anyone who goes left. I wouldnt loathe them, or throwing ruction to those who had ever made me laugh back then. Since they ain't wicked, it is just their parts which placed in my life are completed and finished. All I need is receiving it wholesouledly and wholeheartedly forever.
Thankyou For those who hate and for those who love me
For those who betray and for those who stay
For those who have broken my heart and for those who heal
For those who bring happiness also those who bring sadness
For those who caused dissapointment and for those who strengthen
For those who dropped me down and for those who bring me into prayers and keep me in supports.
For those who kept the promises and those who meant to break their promises
Thank You for music and melodies in my life
Thank You for the closed and opened door
Thank You for every good chance, whether it has brought me to good or bad luck
Thank You for each & every beautiful thing
I remember every struggle and effort that has been made through Your helping hands in 1st and 2nd semester, You always happened to keep Your promises.
My life is adequate because I could see more days coming in Your plans which are tremendously wonderful and unbeatable, for that I wouldnt ask for more, You have given me more than I could ever wished for and its an eternal grateful. I am 19, I am blessed, hearty Thank You.
- Greetings, 18 July 2015
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